Ephesians 6:1-4, Christ’s new humanity in the family.

Class Outline:

Thursday February 3, 2022

 

Our main idea remains: walk in a manner worthy of your calling, and the idea behind that is that Christ through His death and resurrection has made all things new.

 

Christ has made all things new, which things can only be entered by faith - a family with wise, divinely loving parents, and disciplined, instructed children.

 

New humanity family: children are subject to their parents and are to honor them. Parents are to discipline and instruct and not provoke them to anger.

 

The assumption as Paul’s pen (or dictation) moves along is that the parents are fulfilling their roles in marriage. If they are not, there is an obvious impact upon the family and the children. Yet still, the children are commanded to obey the authority of the parents.

 

EPH 6:1-4

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth. 4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up [nurture them] in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

 

A few clarifications of a few words. The only words from which the Greek gives a little more insight is “obey,” “provoke to anger” is a strong word. “Bring them up” is a word that means to nourish or nurture and is used of the husband in EPH 5:29 - “for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.” “Discipline and instruction” are synonyms meaning instruction while the first is by action and the other is training by word of which both can refer to encouragement or reproof, however, the first word “discipline” is used in Hebrews 12 of God disciplining us where he says, “don’t faint … He scourges every son He receives.”

 

“obey” [imperative] - hupakouo (hupo + akouo: to listen) = literally to listen under or listen by. It is always used for obedience.

 

It’s translated right, but I wanted to show you its relationship to listening. “Hear O Israel …”

 

Children’s obedience to parents is a part of natural law. It is not confined to Christian ethics; it is the standard behavior in every society, from Stoic philosophers to Japanese customs. It is no surprise therefore that Paul tells us that the mark of a decadent society which God has given up to its own godlessness, of the “last days” is disobedience to parents.

 

It is not only natural law, but it is revealed in God’s Law, the Ten Commandments. So serious did God deem this command that in Israel a child who cursed or struck their parents, or who was even stubborn or rebellious, was worthy of death. Paul however, prefers to enforce the command with a promise rather than a threat. Christian parents in particular are concerned about discouraging the children or provoking them to anger. Though parental authority exists in every culture, as does love from parents to children for the most part, the divine love from parents to children, like it is from God the Father, is only found in Christian parents who are maturing.

 

Concerning a modern situation in public schools, the state is not the ultimate responsibility for rearing and instructing children. Parents can only delegate responsibility to a school or church, but they are ultimate responsible before God for the children God gave them and they must jealously guard that responsibility.

 

Children are commanded to obey their parents in the Lord. This can only be true if the children know something about the Lord. It is not necessary that they are believers, because the children may not yet be old enough to make that decision for themselves, but at the age of 3 or 4 they can begin to comprehend something of God who is above and beyond parents and the world. They are to be told with complete confidence from the parents, as soon as they are able to comprehend language (ages 1-2), that they are to obey the parents completely because this is the way of the Lord. The ideal is that the children eventually become believers and then obey and honor their parents because of their faith in the way of the Lord. Until then, or if they don’t come to faith, they are still under this law from the Ten Commandments.

 

Parents claim authority from the Lord. Reveal it to children. Instruct and discipline both in encouragement and reproof.

 

The parents claim their authority from the Lord and communicate the truth of the matter to the children, with confidence and appropriate discipline and instruction (encouraging and reproving). Being from the Lord, the parents demand obedience while understanding enough about their children not to provoke them to anger or discourage them.

 

In the Wisdom Literature of the Old Testament discipline and punishment of children was clear. If you spare the rod, you don’t love your son, you hate him. It is obvious that abuse was not in mind at all.

 

PRO 13:24

He who spares his rod hates his son,

But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

 

PRO 22:15

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;

The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

 

PRO 23:13-14

Do not hold back discipline from the child,

Although you beat him with the rod, he will not die.

14 You shall beat him with the rod,

And deliver his soul from Sheol.

 

PRO 29:15

The rod and reproof give wisdom,

But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.

 

We must remember that Paul restrains us as parents as well as admonishes us. Don’t provoke them to anger, nor discourage them. God tells us to discipline, teach, encourage, and exercise restraint and He trusts us to find the balance, which we will with love and wisdom. The Christian parents have the blessing life of the children foremost in mind as they train them, remembering God’s promise: vs. 3 that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

 

Discipline must be controlled. And parents must be clear about their motives. It is dangerous for them to discipline their children when they’re annoyed, their pride has been hurt, or are angry. First be sure to be spiritual, having the fruit of the Spirit as a parent, before you discipline.

 

Lloyd-Jones, Life in the Spirit, “When you are disciplining a child, you should first have controlled yourself … what right have you to say to your child that he needs discipline when you obviously need it yourself? Self-control, the control of the temper, is an essential prerequisite in the control of others.”

 

Added to discipline is instruction. Parents are not to let children find their own way, another modern trend.

 

I would think that this instruction means in everything. Most importantly instruction about the Lord and His plan, biblical instruction, but it is also parental responsibility, in my view, no matter how much they delegate to schools, for the children’s instruction in all important secular studies, at least the basics.

 

That their authority comes from the Lord and not the acquiescence of the children, should give confidence to their voices as they guide their children. The text makes it obvious that they are to do this with love.